I am constantly looking for ways to improve my nutrition and eating habits. I read frequently. I have many leather-bound books and my house smells of rich mahogany. (Ron Burgundy, anyone?) Anyways, one of the things I tend to be horrible at is eating consistently clean. I will do wonderful for about a week. But then, a cheat meal here, a cheat meal there. Here a cheat, there a cheat. Everywhere… You get the point – it’s all gone to hell in a hand basket. I’ve come to the realization I’d be morbidly obese if I didn’t love to workout. This is a problem. I want abs, damnit. Like, legit “run-in-a-sports-bra” abdominal muscles. The kind that make people go, “She had two babies? 19 months apart? GET OUT.”
I have 10-15 vanity pounds I’d like to lose and my child is almost a year old. I have some bad habits that need breaking. I have zero mental stamina. I needed a kick in the trash to get started. Luckily, competition is one of the best ways to get me motivated. Our gym combined the Advocare 24 Day Challenge with paleo eating (I’m modifying some of the Advocare products because I’m breastfeeding). While I’m not crazy about supplementation, I am more disciplined when I think I have things aiding my progress. “Oh, this will make me 120lbs and 5’10” by tomorrow? I’LL TAKE IT! It’s going to give me cancer? Don’t care. I’M GOING TO LOOK AND FEEL SO FABULOUS.” Please note, Advocare supplements don’t give you cancer and I am dramatic.
Last friday I went to my CrossFit box to take before photos and do the entry WOD. The two owners officiating the challenge made me take my shirt off while they took measurements of my post-pregnant belly and then shoved me towards a tripod with HUGE lights surrounding it. Under the glaring lights, I blindly stumbled for the tape line to stand on as they made me face forward and “ACT NORMAL” while they took my half-naked photos. “ACT NORMAL?!” I screamed in my head, “How is that even remotely possible when I’m trying to suck it in so you don’t realize how much pudge I actually have around my middle, while not sucking in too much so I can make my after-photos look awesome. Also, I feel like I’m a convicted felon right now.” As I was being told to “TURN TO THE LEFT” I realized my crime was my lack of discipline and my well-deserved punishment was 3+ weeks of mental bootcamp (along with humiliating photos of myself).
Well, so far I have not turned into a fire-breathing monster or put my face into a giant bowl of queso. It’s been SEVEN full days and I’ve been 99.9% paleo. I’m really proud of myself. I realize that every year since having my first baby, that my nutrition has gradually significantly improved. After Jack we began dabbling in the paleo diet, eliminating (most) fast food and cutting out soda. With Ellie, we’d almost completely removed all gluten from our diet and working on dairy. Now, I’m completely dairy-free (with the exception of the rare occasion of cheese) and gluten-free. This 24 day challenge has made me step it up even more and really eat whole foods – veggies, fruit, lean proteins. Since I’m continuing to breast-feed I’m trying to eat small meals throughout the day and chug water. I’m averaging about 64-80 oz of water a day and working out with my CrossFit Box 4x a week in addition to teaching five fitness classes a week.
The punishment for failing?
I hear they whip people with cat-o-nines while making you run continuous sprints with weighted burpee box jumps every 400 meters. That’s hell for me, at least. I’m trying to challenge myself to be more disciplined with my diet. I think that it’s incredibly important to be aware of what you put into your body; using food as fuel and power instead of comfort and celebration. I’m also deathly afraid of wasting money. So, that’s also punishment.
A cheat meal. Just kidding! But seriously I will list out the things I am currently craving (and will eventually eat one at a time):
– Bob Armstrong dip (if you’re not from Dallas it’s beef, guacamole, sour cream and pico de gallo mixed in queso – it’s freaking amazing).
– frosted cookies from Pokie O’s.
– a hamburger with french fries (the greasier the better)
– a diet coke (oh yeah, the cravings are bad, baby)
– a vanilla latte from Whole Foods (the BEST)
Also, I am hosting a baby shower this weekend AND DON’T EVEN GET TO EAT ANY CAKE. NONE OF IT. NOT EVEN THE FROSTING. Send prayers.