12 days until I enter a psych facility.

 

this is me. enjoy.

Remember this post?

this year I really made an effort. I tried. I tried to get my heart to grow three size, and it started to, but then five days before Christmas it shrunk back up.

- I decorated. in the midst of moving, i decorated. granted, my tree is 1/2 decorated, but that’s mostly so my toddler stops pulling ornaments off the tree and destroying them.

- I am currently doing the 12 days of Christmas idea for my husband. Pinterest is a jerk. It sucks you in and gets you really excited about something. Then halfway through the project, you’re tired, grumpy and regretting committing to such a big ordeal. I’m not regretting doing this, because Josh loves getting gifts everyday. I’m just regretting this in the middle of moving, being pregnant and hauling a toddler around with me.

- I sent out Christmas cards. i hunted down addresses, mailed and stamped them myself, and sent them on their merry way. We’ve gotten MAYBE 5 Christmas cards from people this year. You all suck.

- I took Jack to see Santa. Little traitor loved that old, fat man. He sat on his lap and cuddled with him. Then Santa said, “He’s so cute. I want to take him to the North Pole with me!” And that’s when I snatched my child away from that creepy, old man and vowed to never bring him back again.

- I wrapped presents this year. I usually shove them in a bag and call it a day, but I actually took time to wrap them and put bows on them. Guess what? They still look horrible! Again, Pinterest sucks.

- I even conceded on some things I really did not want to concede on. Remember three years ago, how I said, Christmas disappoints and pisses people off? I really tried to avoid that, even though I’m the Queen of Confrontation. I patted myself on the back and bought myself a new Vinyasa scarf from lululemon as reward.

I get an A for effort this year.

But after grocery shopping for Christmas baking (again, I tried), and running into all sorts of evil people who don’t give a damn that it’s Christmas or that you’re almost 5 months pregnant, I decide I still just don’t like the holiday. The ER is over-crowded, people are mean, and no one remembers why we celebrate this season in the first place.  In addition, I HAVEN’T SEEN THE HOBBIT YET.

I am so grateful sweet, baby Jesus was born. I’m grateful for the advent season to reflect on His journey for us. But man, I could send some of you to a meeting with Him for the way you act during this season. Commercialization of Christmas blows.

So, now I’ll go put myself in time-out. And reflect on my bad attitude. And eat some Nutella sea salt fudge I just made (I really, REALLY hate Pinterest).

sorry. heart is still here.

- hannah.