SP vs. the Tejano music.

our humble abode deep in the heart of OC.

our house is in the middle of the ghetto. my husband claims this isn’t true. he proclaims we are “urban pioneers.” granted, we have an amazing area of local restaurants and shops, including a wine bar with an adjacent bakery & grocery store, and a organic food co-op where we get vegetables and fruit from local farmers.  like any area of our city, one street is incredibly nice and then the next street over is horrible. our street is an excellent example of this amalgamate. we have a nice, re-modeled, older home that we put a lot of work, time, and money into. our neighbors, even though they speak NO English, take amazing care of their house as well. they put up a fence. they have a dog. they mow their lawn. the wife came over to attempt to communicate to me that my car lights were on and i left my keys in my front door (i blame it on the fact that i just had a baby and was sleep deprived). anyways, they are pretty awesome.

however, the neighbors next to them are building a meth lab. they have foil on their windows and shady people driving by. i mean, there is some real “Breaking Bad” crap going on in that house. and the neighbors next to us have about 20 people in their house at any given time and blast tejano music at all hours of the night. they also got the neighbors behind us in on the gig, because they, too, blast their crappy music whenever the hell they want to.

to me it seems perfectly ILLOGICAL to open up all the doors of your truck and then turn your radio up to the loudest volume possible just to hear some really awful tubas, trumpets, and singing. plus, when you’re in front of your truck and not inside or next to it you aren’t hearing the music anyways. YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE.  and this pisses me off. first of all, you have no basic concept of sound travels, and second of all, you have the worst taste in music ever.

i’m an awesome neighbor. i don’t blast music. i keep my yard clean. i make sure my dog doesn’t eat you. and this is how you repay me? i came to terms with this before Jack was born and now i’m so tired that even sleeping in the truck with the tejano music wouldn’t bother me. but Spencer Pratt hates it.

If you know my husband, you know he is super even and calm. I am the dramatic, over-zealous, in-your-face confronter of our relationship. for obvious reasons, our neighbors are pushing his buttons. he tries to combat it in a peaceful manner. he blasts classical music when we hang out outside. he tries to nicely ask them to turn it down. he even still smiles and says ‘hello’ when we’re outside. but no more. he is angered. the sleeping giant is awake. For example, I came home from work at 4am last weekend and found both husband and child awake in bed eagerly waiting my glorious return. Jack was happy as a lark and Josh had a nervous twitch and was pacing back and forth in our house.

me: “What’s wrong?
SP: “the music. it won’t stop. it’s 4am.”
me: “yeah, it’s kinda loud. i noticed it when i drove up. did it wake jack up?”
SP: “yeah. and i walked with jack over there to ask them to turn it off and the guy pretended not to speak english. when i know he can clearly understand me. he gave me some pretty dirty looks.i”
me: “wait, you walked over there with jack? what if they shot you and took my baby… that could’ve gone bad in so many ways.”
SP: “i wasn’t worried. i had a can of gasoline in the other hand to send a message. turn off your music or i’ll burn down your house. then i called my cop friend. he said they feign ignorance with them as well. so, i’m waiting for them to send someone over to talk to them. i feel like a real helpful citizen. i’m protecting my neighborhood by increasing police patrol in the area and awareness for the current state of our street.”
me: “…okay… but the music is still playing.”
SP: “I KNOW.”

we’ve become THOSE neighbors…

so the cycle continues. we relax. music blasts. josh flips. jack wakes. neighbors pretend. cops show. music stops. until the next weekend.

but ever faithful SP continues his vigilant fight against the evil is loud tejano music with the hopes of promoting neighborhood peace and tranquility. i’m praying imprecatory prayers that they move soon.

so, who wants to be our neighbors? you can kick out the meth-heads or music-haters (because it’s obvious that anyone who hates music will blast the worst kind possible as loud as they can to punish the rest of society). take your pick. i can’t promise we won’t call the cops on you.

-hannah.

p.s. Spencer Pratt is no longer allowed to watch “Sons of Anarchy” anymore. He’s getting into some real deviant behavior to solve his problems (ie., gas can messages). Don’t piss him off, please.

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